Felting Fubar

The boy wanted a knitted wool hat. So I got my needles and a cool pattern book and found something I dug. I carefully knit a test swatch and threw it in the washer for felting (a process in which one turns loose floppy knitting into a tight, thick, wind-proof fabric by washing it in hot water; it's other name, when done on accident, is shrinking). Using the measurments created by shrinking my swatch, I mapped out a pattern for the hat. I incorporated yellow snowflakes and these nifty earflaps.
Then, I threw it in the washer, confident it would felt (shrink) in the same proportions as the test swatch.
Hubris, I tell you.
Instead I got this: a felted football helmet.
Turned upside down, it's a nice basket.
In it's current form, the boy has cut eyeholes in it and wears it to freak out the neighbor kids.